callitwhatyouwill

shes scaring herself

her misery hates

its current company

"let me be me"

let her die

let her tears resign

she plans her escape

being held captive in this body

she wants to be set free

free of her mind

ticking

clicking

biting her

its fighting her

its hurting her

its flirting with her

she looks fine

but feels dead

she suffers in her silence

relying solely on her pen's violence

her pen's tendencies

she speaks through it

but knows better

every word

poem

every line she designs

they're her suicide letters.

thisisnotmylastnote

dubbed
"theeasywayout"
but please dont criticize my chosen route
its far from easy to do
it takes a certain strength
in all my weakness
to plan this undesirable trip
it takes multiple tries
too much practice
because practice makes
perfect
sparing none
my death is perfection
calculated
dated
point taken, Life
i cant do this.

Greetings,
Where have you been?
I cant say ive missed you
You tend to reappear
Just when you were being forgotten.
Only one out of threehundredandsixtyfive times
Do I claim,
“that’s not mine”
And you’re not.
For you are simply me.
I wonder how he feels about you
Because he “loves” me
But you are me
I wonder…
Come with me.
Keep my anger company
Keep my eyes fiery
Keep my thumbs green
Pleasedontleaveme
Alone.
Youmightbeallihave
Left.
You are me.
He has declared love has conquered him
But I know ive done it again.
He has conquered false feelings.
A wise fool.
For he believes in only his strength.
But I am a fucking tank.
For that
Who should I thank?
You. Me. Us.
My weakness deceives
Thieves of hearts.
I fight smart
He doesn’t know,
He doesnt love.
Theres no warmth here.
I share fake secrets of despair
But promise me 3 times that you will keep them

False is all that I am.

ihatesurprises

Would anyone be surprised
If I died
Infront of very suspecting eyes
Do I think they would cry
Yes.
No.
Some.
Maybe.
But would they be surprised
No.
Because im already dead inside
I started mouthing unwritten poetry
I was thinking about how beautiful you are when ur mad at me

What.
Is.
That.

Its distracting
My acting

teamwork

apparently
i play for maybe two teams

my team
that consists of me
and this other stupidfuckingteamineveraskedtobeapartof

the "lesbian" team

im not gay. im not a dyke. im not a lezzzzzzbian. and im absolutely not straight.

im myself.
im me.
how many times have those two words been placed together to form some sort of strong meaningful statement.
the desire to be different has become the same.
unique is now a category all in itself. and theres TONS of ppl in it.

so.
reader.
when i say this.
i mean this.
i am me.
i am on my own team.
im my own coach
umpplayerinfieldoutfieldpitchercatcher
uptobat
andondeck

notice i havent said "labels"
until just now.
because when i say i hate labels. i mean i HATE labels.
-end of label rant

so 23 years and counting... ive played for the same team.
never changes, but slightly alters.

ive introduced new players, benched them almost immediately.
because i am the star of the game.
thislifeisnothingbutagame
its up to "us" as a "society" (society = another "unique" group of ppl)
to decide whether this game is going to be fun or not.

ok so
playing on this team by myself.
refusing to represent any other individual
only because all i know is myself and if i were to try to partner up indefinitely with some one else.... id try very hard, daily, hourly to make them see through my eyes.
when do you realize that not everything is entirely possible.
for example: two ppl can look at the exact same thing, and yet see two completely different things.

things being the key word here

because whatever we are both staring at.. is just a thing.
thingsthingsthings.

so who decides what this thing is?
whofuckingcares

right?!

so i dont play for anyone else's team. i represent nobody but myself.
its not giving up. its called peace.

innerpeace.

x

dontsayineverwarnedyou

let me warn you
my darling flower
my hands have a divine power
my eyes speak volumes
and my heart can
most definitely consume
yours
let me warn you
my beautiful princess
having me in excess
will burn you
i apologize far
far
in advance
for my many glances at the floor
and my natural instinct
to gravitate towards closed doors
i am your first love
and your first love lost
but until then
princess
just hold my hand

ohisithotout?

so
who doesnt enjoy a sunny warm breezy day though right?
its the hippie in me that makes me get an iced frappa
head to the closet park
park
my car
and then my self on strategically placed rocks that seem to be at every park
i embrace with such presence
the sun is hot
lay back and enjoy the waves
ihearkidsscreamingbloodymurder
oh
so i can see the bohemuth ride at wonderland from here
an hour passes
i head back to the office
lovelylunchbreak

brieflyturnedon

im well aware
that the possibilities for great miss
are only a few plane rides
and a few thousand miles
away
once you were gone
i was quietly screaming
STAY
but its ok
i dont mind feeling this way
convinces me of my faint pulse
draws smiles
across oceans
for a few whiles
i wont tell you how i miss you so
how i want you to perform a strip show
upon your arrival
im in survival mode
so move slow
fucking hoes
touching toes
wakes me up
i have a purpose
on purpose
i think i miss your tits
and your lips
im convinced
i have a pulse.

sleepissooverrated

ok so theres this girl
she sparkles
dazzles me
has the cure to everything
a smile that has lasted for
so many long

long

whiles
iremembermeetingyou
lasting impression to say the very
absolute
least
unleashed
something very beautiful
sunnydaysworkextrahardtocompetewithyoursparkle
mission failed.
kissing you
gave me my very first
burst
of butterflies
to them i apologize
she doesnt give you any breaks
fucksakes
i look forward to hugging you
even though every time i do
i am devastatingly disappointed
it never lasts long enough

playingat8:159:10&10:20

so many times id come home
and wish on every fallen eyelash
that id turn the corner and find you crashed
outside my door
i could picture it as though ive seen it before
nothing at my door
except a notice from the landlord
testing the fire alarm tomorrow
6am - 8am
then again at
5pm right up until 8
great
i already have a headache
its not like you dont want to see me but
for once id like to see you
greet you
instead of meet you
pound on my door to let you in
take it off the hinges
just to shorten the distance
between our mouths giving kisses
put it back on
turn the black on
and introduce your right hand
to all the wrong places
dont mind the nosey faces
peeking through my window
we do put on a spectacular show
ill start charging them if it makes you feel better.

insidethelines

red
i coloured my face red
after i heard the things you said
after your heart spoke to me in that way that it does
thank you.
blue
i coloured my lips a shade of blue
im cold and im sick of not knowing what it is you want me to do.
green
i coloured my eyes green
just cuz I like yours so much
pink
i coloured my skin pink
cuz its sweet and pretty and cuz i just like the colour.
yellow
my hair is yellow
like the sun that shines through your window.
black
i coloured my heart black because ive broken yours.

no. 999,999

ive written about a million of these
rhyming words and forcing verbs
and trying to describe the exact moment
the exact

moment

that i felt the weakness in my knees
the palpitating rhythm of my heart
that you are so unaware of
i am starting to truly believe
you are blind forever
literally.
because i know i cant be yours and i know that you cant be mine
and i know that if i could actually turn back time
that it would play out the exact same way
the exact

same

way

and i tend to say
that if i was forced to do it all over again
i would
but i know that i would probably kiss you more often
i would fall for you harder
a day sooner
and then every day after
and i would catch you
i would catch you more times than i did
and i would love you
deeper
i would fight harder
i would dance longer
i would be stronger
and i would have let you go
sooner
a lot sooner
because i cant shake the feeling you make me feel
when i look at you
by accident
a brutal car accident
ill catch your stare and i swear
to
fucking

God

i die a little more inside
i say im not in love with you
but why cant I seem to get you
to stay the fuck away from me
to get you
to stay the fuck out of my nightmarish dreams
to get you to get me
to just
simply

have

you…

mmmintro?

oh hey. what up.

so this is my very own blog spot. blog area. blog.

yea so here it is. my name is alisha. i write. some call it poetry. others may call it something else.

i call it art. that seems to sum it all up right.

i dont have very good punctuation skills, as in, ill only make sure every thing is spelled correctly.

get used to my style of writing.

peace love
xx

gimmegimmenevergets

give me that smile you smile
give me that taste that lingers for a while
give me all your time you have to waste
give me your limbs, your skin, give me that waist
please, come closer to my eyes
arrive on time, between these thighs
stay there until we remember
ive been remembering to forget
i adore those butterflies that live to die
that i sent you and you sent i
they’re back with more colours than last
more colour than black
with more beauty than poetry could ever imply
give me your heart, please
and ill give you mine.